Moonbeams

Retirement tip for Swofties.

Activate your ‘want’ list. What is it you have always wanted to do but never had time for? Start a list of your unfinished goals, whether it’s learning a language, travelling somewhere new or taking up belly dancing.Go girl!

If you have enjoyed this post and are thinking about your retirement transition check out this interview with Ann Harrison. Available TODAY only

http://talkingprimetimewomen.com/st3ephia/

Are you worried about change?

The phrase “change is the only constant" has never been more apt than in the current environment where we constantly hear stories about cuts, increased overheads, competitive pressures and double dip recession.  How we deal with the changes, will really determine our success as independent women.

Now as I was wondering what message I could give that would inspire you to continue adapting and adopting new ways of doing things, I came across a powerful story that sums up how we should all respond to change.

I must point out that although I don't agree with the farmers tactics, the gist of the story is really important.

     THE WISE OLD MULE

 

    Once there was a farmer who owned an old

    mule that accidentally fell into the farmer's

    well. The farmer heard the mule 'braying'- or

    whatever mules do when they fall into

    wells.

 

    After carefully assessing the situation, the

    farmer sympathized with the mule, but

    decided that neither the mule nor the well

    was worth the trouble of saving.

 

    Instead, he called his neighbours together

    and told them what had happened...and

    enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the

    old mule in the well and put him out of his

    misery.

 

    Initially, the old mule was hysterical! But

    as the farmer and his neighbours continued

    shovelling and the dirt hit his back...a

    thought struck him.

 

    It suddenly dawned on him that every time

    a shovel load of dirt landed on his

    back...HE SHOULD SHAKE IT OFF AND

    STEP UP! This he did, blow after blow.

 

    "Shake it off and step up...shake it off and

    step up...shake it off and step up!" he

    repeated to encourage himself. No matter

    how painful the blows, or distressing the

    situation seemed, the old mule fought

    "panic" and just kept right on SHAKING IT

    OFF AND STEPPING UP!

 

    You're right! It wasn't long before the old

    mule, battered and exhausted, STEPPED

    TRIUMPHANTLY OVER THE WALL OF

    THAT WELL!

 

    What seemed would bury him, actually

    blessed him...all because of the manner in

    which he handled his adversity.

 

    THAT'S LIFE! If we face our problems and

    respond to them positively, refusing to give

    in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity, we can

    overcome them and move on to a life of

    luxury.

 

    The adversities that come along to bury us

    usually have within them, the potential to

    benefit and bless us!

  

Remember to continue Creating Positive Change in your life as you move towards a new beginning.

 

Sectrets for swofties – Give Yourself a Health MOT

 

Changes in our lives often cause us to think about our health and it can be helpful to take time every now and then, to remind ourselves that we can take control of it. So here is a simple way to give yourself a health MOT.

Look through the list below and tick the things that put pressure on your health.

Things that put pressure on your health	Tick if appropriate
Facing major change
Money problems
Relationships
Job security
Retirement worries
Work related stress
Boredom
Feeling lonely/isolated
Being in a job you hate
Lack of time for yourself
Being an ‘unpaid’ carer
Worry/anxiety
Other- identify what they are

 Look through the list below and pick the things you tend to turn to when you are under pressure.

Things you turn to when under pressure	Tick if appropriate
Sleeping tablets
Cigarettes
Snacking on food/binge eating
Alcohol
Tranquillisers
Low mood
Shop medicines
Repeat prescriptions
Losing your temper
Blaming others
Playing the  ‘victim’
Ignoring the warning signs
Other – Identify what they are

Based on your answers in the previous tables, complete the following so you can see where you can improve. Be honest with yourself and ask ‘What can I do to take more resonsibility for my health in this area?’

 

	Areas of good health	Areas that could be improved
Physical
Mental
Social
Emotional
Spiritual

 

Here’s to a healthy ‘New You’!

 

Secrets for Swofties - Changing Career after 50

Longevity and the economic downturn are two of the reasons why more women over fifty than ever are changing their career. Indeed recent research undertaken by HSBC revealed that almost a third of the 21.3 million people in Britain over 50 are planning a career change.

I held a management role for many years and interviewed hundreds of people over the years. During this time I was frequently surprised by interviewees who only acknowledged and referred to skills related to the jobs they had done and skills learned formally in school, college, university or on training courses. However recent studies show that the emphasis on job-specific skills is changing and it appears that employers are increasingly recognising the significance of broader, more fundamental skills.

This is good news for women over fifty who are seeking to change their career as we have a whole range of experiences we can offer to demonstrate the skills employers are now looking for. Here are just a few examples of how you can demonstrate them. You will be able to think of many more

Managing the family budget (financial skills)

Project managing/ house moves, holidays etc. (organisation, planning and time management skills)

Going through divorce (well don’t you need to be able to negotiate, communicate, and have tenacity, patience and diplomacy? You get my drift!

Membership of PTA/ Committees (teamwork, communication, customer focus, co-operating skills etc.)

Paying bills and dealing with correspondence (administration skills)

Juggling with taking the children to after school activities (time management)

Now go get that job girl!

f you’ve enjoyed reading this post, and would like to know more about changing career and moving forward after fiftyplease join me for the FREE Telesummit, Talking Prime Time Women,  by going here http://talkingprimetimewomen.com/

Secrets for Swofties - Three Ways to Kill the Single Supplement on a Solo Holiday

One of the most frustrating things I find about being single, is the ‘single supplemet’ As well as having to pay more for the pleasure of having a solo holiday, it can feel like a punishment for not having a partner or travelling companion.

There are holiday organisations which focus on single holidaymakers and do not charge a single supplement. For example www.solosholidays.co.uk, www.justyou.co.uk, www.friendshiptravel.co.uk, www.solitairhols.co.uk, www.travelone.co.uk, http://www.olympicholidays.com/information/single-travellers.htm

 However, whatever they say about gender mix, don’t expect many men, girls. There just aren’t as many men as women and generaly men don’t have the same ‘get up and go’ as us. Also bear in mind that the cost of sole occupancy has been absorbed within their prices which are higher than standard holidays (crafty eh!)

Some cruise lines offer a scheme whereby you can be paired with a cabin mate to avoid the single supplement. (P&O Cruises, Fred Olsen and Crystal Cruises) while some offer a limited number of cabins for sole occupancy, without charging a supplement. Also try www.cruisesforsingles,net

 Here are my three top tips to avoid the single supplement–

Research a deal
Set up a Google Alert (Chose destination/holiday type) no single supplement’ e.g. Spanish hotels no single supplement’ If any holidays without a single supplement come up in your chosen destination come up in your chosen area, you will receive an email.

Negotiate
It’s always worth asking the Holiday Company, hotel or cruise line whether they will drop the supplement for you.What have you got to loose? It’s usually worth telling them about your recent divorce or bereavement as well as assuring them about your discretion by not mentioning anything to fellow travelers.

Look out for Special Offers
Some holiday companies release a few holidays ‘supplement free’ and once they are gone, that’s it. Others waive the supplement for less popular destinations and dates. Sometimes cruise companies reduce the single supplemnt for what are called ‘repositioning cruises’ when companies move their ships from summer cruising to winter waters. To bag one of these it’s probably best to enlist the help of a Travel agent.

Good luck!

If you’ve enjoyed reading this post, and would like to know about reinventing life after fifty there are still more expert interviews to come so please join me for the FREE Telesummit, Talking Prime Time Women by going here http://talkingprimetimewomen.com/

Secrets for Swofties - How to Tame the Gremlin in Your Head

Negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem. When you keep making derisive statements and berating yourself, eventually you begin to believe them!

I have worked incredibly hard at turning the language I use for internal chatter, around to be positive. Try counting the number of times you use negative statements to yourself in a day and you will be surprised at how many. I changed sentences like this – “I’ll never be able to do this, I can’t do that, Things are bound to go wrong, they always do” to say instead, “I’m sure I can find a way round this. I can do this; I’m working hard to remove the things that get in the way.” If you talk your way out of things it will work, I promise!

Most often these messages began as statements articulated by the adults in our life when we were children.  They may have said something negative about us when our actions displeased them, or perhaps they had a habit of saying unkind things even when we didn’t deserve it. As painful as these experiences can be, it makes it even worse when we pick up where they left off and keep repeating the same negative messages over and over.

The good news is that we can change our self-talk any time we want.  You just have to know how to become aware of the tone of your messages and consciously replace negative statements with more encouraging ones.

 Try these simple steps for starters:

 1)      Develop awareness of your self-talk.  It will take practice, but if you keep “listening” in to your inner voice, you’ll begin to notice when you talk negatively to yourself.

 2)      Challenge your negative messages. When you notice yourself saying something negative such as, “You always mess things up, you can’t do anything right” – stop yourself and challenge that belief.  Is that really true?  Maybe you mess up sometimes, but do you ALWAYS mess up? I doubt it.

3)      Replace the negative messages with positive messages.  When you realise you’re saying unkind and untrue things to yourself, simply turn it around in your mind.  Using the above examples, you might say, “No, that’s not true at all!  I do lots of things right.  I occasionally make mistakes, but so does everyone. I’m a good person, I try my best and that’s good enough for me.”

Over time, your efforts will pay off in the form of stronger self-esteem and increased respect for yourself.  It probably won’t happen overnight, but the more you work at turning your self-talk in a more positive direction, the better you’ll feel about yourself. And besides, as my parents used to say, “success comes in 'cans' not cant's”

 If you’ve enjoyed reading this post, and would like to know more about (the topic of this post) please join me for the FREE Telesummit, Talking Prime Time Women, I’m running soon by going here http://talkingprimetimewomen.com/

 

Postcard from a 'Swoftie' in Turkey

Dear fellow 'Swofties'

From the hours delay on the runway before take off, due to storms over southern France, and my seat on the plane nearly turning brown due to turbulence (I am one hip chick with a fear of flying) the arrival at my destination was fraught with challenges. I had diligently researched and booked the  transfer from the airport to my hotel on-line before I left, as I had booked the flight separately to the hotel. I didn’t want to get into a taxi that might not be registered, with someone I didn’t know in a strange country.

The confirmation email I received assured me not to worry as someone would meet me at the airport carrying a board with my name on and I could pay the 40 euros directly. I was given an emergency phone number and asked for my mobile number (just in case) which I was impressed by. On arrival at the airport I was feeling hot, tired and stressed from the turbulent flight. After waiting for nearly an hour a man arrived. Hurray I thought. Magic Life Hotel? he asked and I nodded confirmation.

The journey took about 40 minutes. As we swung into the drive and I saw ‘Welcome to Magic Life’ my heart soared and I began thinking about a large glass of wine and  light meal before retiring to bed.The taxi drove away and I registered at reception, at least that was the intention. Before long, they told me  I was booked at a different hotel  some 100 kilometers away and had been taken to the wrong hotel. After waiting for over an hour while the Manager tried to sort it out I was told I would have to pay 100 euros for a taxi, obtain a receipt and claim the cost  back from the transfer company.

If my seat on the aircraft was nearly brown, the one in the taxi was nearly worn out from clutching it so tightly, as I was driven at high speed to the correct hotel.By the time I arrived at the hotel, I was a nervous wreck!

I awoke the next day to brilliant sunshine and after a refreshing shower, went to have breakfast. The food was superb in both quality and variety. When I asked one of the waiters for a spoon he got out a cigarette to give me. That was the first of several occasions when I could not make myself understood, usually with amusing consequences. It turned out the hotel chain was German and most of its guests, German or Russian.

After the eventful arrival, my holiday went with a swing and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Some of the many highlights included, para-gliding, Turkish bath, a daily  massage, two fabulous a la carte meals, a trip to a market on the local bus, a wonderful conversation with an elderly lady from Luxembourg using her limited English and my limited French and of course the sunshine and relaxation I had gone for.

Before signing off I want to share some tips with you from things I learned.

• I will always book a package holiday in future, so airport transfers are included and an English speaking rep is available to advise on places of interest, local customs etc. I will also research the nationality of guests and linguistic skills of staff  when choosing a hotel.

• Finding myself at a 'party for one' in the evening I planned my evenings carefully. I ate late at the hotel so I could go directly to watch the entertainment without having to sit around the bar on my own too much.

• Stepping out on a solo holiday doesn't have to mean being alone. Meeting new people is one of my greatest joys.But I did have to make the effort to connect with people. I found being interested and curious and asking people about themselves, their country and their previous holiday experiences worked for me. Although I have to say for this holiday opportunities for connecting with people were limited due to language barriers.
  

• My net book came in handy for keeping in tough with friends and family, checking the weather forecast and entertaining me the day it rained.

• I load audio books on my ipod before I leave. This saves packing books, makes better use of the measly baggage allowance and it is absolutely wonderful being read to as you sun bathe.
  

• I used my mobile phone for wake up calls and calculator for currency conversions.
  

• My lavender oil came in handy as usual for sunburn (however carefully I put on  sun tan lotion, I always seem to miss bits that then get burned) and as an antiseptic for cuts etc. Light and easy to pack too.

• The cheap paper fan I bought at a local market in Spain years ago came in handy for those 'Caribbean moments'!

• I always take pajamas on holiday.I can answer the door looking decent I have a pretty white cotton three piece (camisole, long sleeved top and trousers) When pressed and put with some bling they also double as an evening outfit.

• My neck pillow came in handy again. I use it on the flight and for comfortable sunbathing.It doesn't weigh much and is well worth taking.
  

• My feet are always a problem on holiday as they get hot, my shoes rub and this causes blisters. Plasters often slip off toes and heels in the heat so I take a pack of thin moleskin, cut into strips and keep them in my bag to whip out at the first sign of rubbing, thus avoiding painful blisters.Buy the soft self-adhesive sheets you can get them in chemists and good shoe shops.

It certainly takes more emotional and physical energy to go on holiday solo but this is out weighed by the many benefits. I find every time I go away alone, I come back with greater self-confidence, increased self-esteem and  deeper awareness about myself. So what are you waiting for? Your next holiday is only a mouse click away.

Bye for now

Remember to send me a postcard when you go away

Chris xx

Gratitude

I recently heard the following  on the radio and would like to share it with you I AM THANKFUL
For the wife Who says its hot dogs tonight, Because she is home with me, And not out with someone else.  For the husband Who is on the sofa Being a couch potato, Because he is home with me And not out at the bars.   For the teenager Who is complaining about doing dishes Because it means she is at home, Not on the streets.   For the taxes I pay Because it means I am employed.   For the mess to clean after a party Because it means I have Been surrounded by friends.   For the clothes that fit a little too snug Because it means I have enough to eat.   For my shadow that watches me work Because it means I am out in the sunshine   For a lawn that needs mowing, Windows that need cleaning, And gutters that need fixing Because it means I have a home.   For all the complaining I hear about the government Because it means We have freedom of speech.

Takes gratitude to a completely new level don't you think?

Solo travel for a SWOFTY – Five Tips For Planning Your Solo Holiday

SWOFTY is the new term being used for Single Women Over Fifty. I became a SWOFTY when my 32 year old marriage ended in divorce when I was 53 and I have had a variety of holidays on my own ever since as well as with friends and family..

For single women over fifty, solo travel brings its own set of opportunities and challenges. Being able to go where you want, do what you want, when you want has to be balanced with feeling lonely, conspicuous about eating alone and appearing friendless.

A 'must have a holiday' mindset can be the catalyst for your first lone travel experience. If you lack suitable travel companions it can be a question of stepping out solo or not having a holiday at all.

Traveling alone need not be lonely and can be great fun. Do not be reluctant to travel just because you are on your own. If you are feeling nervous about taking such a big step, prepare yourself by planning a few days out on your own, then the odd week-end before you go to build your confidence.

1. Do your research. I always check reviews of where I am going on 'Trip Adviser'. I then use their forum to ask any questions from previous guests/travelers.Some of the travel companies also offer reviews.

2. Invest in a pair of luggage scales. Most tour operators get commission on excess baggage and costs are excessive. You will also be more confident knowing you can manage your bags comfortably.

3. Get advice about the best credit/debit cards to take abroad from http://www.moneysavingexpert.com. There is also a useful tool for finding the best exchange rates which will make your hard earned cash go further.

4. Plan your journey from the airport. If you need to arrange transit to and from the airport, arrange this with the hotel. It may cost a bit more but it is much safer and the drivers will be insured. It is also much nicer when you arrive alone, to have someone waiting for you.

5. Give thought to your packing. When packing, roll your clothes up. You will get more in your case and your things will crease less.Knowing you are looking your best will make you feel more confident about meeting and chatting to new friends.

Traveling on your own can be a wonderful experience. You will meet lots of new people and increase your confidence. So girls get out that bikini and sun tan oil and start planning that holiday.

Solo Travel for a SWOFTY

Have you booked your summer holiday yet?

SWOFTY is the new term being used for Single Women Over Fifty. I became a SWOFTY when my 32 year old marriage ended in divorce when I was 53 and I have had a variety of holidays on my own ever since as well as with friends and family..

Friends and colleagues seem to think I am some kind of superwoman going on my own. My first was a Nile cruise with a holiday company for singles.Last year I had a special birthday and went to Australia and Hong Kong on my own. This year I have booked an all inclusive holiday in Turkey.

Traveling solo for the first time after divorce or losing your husband or partner can feel pretty scary. But without travel companions the choice is stepping out on your own or not having a holiday at all. Once you have overcome concerns about appearing desperate and friendless and feeling lonely and awkward eating alone I have discovered that there are many benefits to going on holiday on your own. It really is the ultimate indulgence, being able to go where you want and do what you want when you want. Meeting new people can also be exciting and I sometimes have fun inventing an imaginary profile and history! Here are some options to help you choose a solo holiday.

1. Holidays for singles
For your first holiday on your own I recommend going with a holiday company that specializes in package holidays for singles.There are plenty out there including Solos Holidays, Travel One and Saga for Singles.They offer all types of holidays including, city breaks, sun and sand, activity holidays and long haul trips to exotic places.

These holidays have the benefit of going with a group of other singles accompanied by a representative. You can choose to do your own thing during the day or pal up with others to go sightseeing or for some retail therapy. In the evening you all meet up for a drink before dinner and share a table with the other single guests.
The benefits are that you do not get lonely and can choose to be alone or with others. There is also someone on hand in an emergency and there are no single supplements.

2. Hotels for singles
Most of these hotels cater exclusively for singles and you have to book your flight separately. I stayed at Mistral Hotel in Crete and was met at the airport with other guests and taken to the hotel a short drive away. The owner and his family made everyone feel at home and were especially good with nervous people who had never been away on their own before.The Manager's mother cooked amazing food, much of which they had grown themselves and we all ate together in the evening. There are no single supplements.

3. Cruises for singles
Cruising is an ideal getaway for single women on their own and offers the breathing space of a resort getaway, pampering service, opportunities to meet new friends and the chance to visit a new place every day.The biggest problem is the good old single supplement.However some cruise lines such as Crystal, Regent Seven Seas, Royal Caribbean, and Silversea only add 25% percent supplements on certain cruises for solo travelers. A cheaper alternative is to consider a cabin share by using a 'find a partner' programme offered by many lines. You are matched with another solo passenger of the same gender, which avoids a single supplement. Sharing a cabin with a stranger might not be your cup of tea but it does make cruising more affordable.

Traveling alone can be a great experience and you will undoubtedly learn more about yourself and return feeling more confident. Why not give it a try?

If you’ve enjoyed reading this post, and would like to know about reinventing life after fifty there are still more expert interviews to come so please join me for the FREE Telesummit, Talking Prime Time Women by going here http://talkingprimetimewomen.com/